None of my own actions stand out to me as something to be regretted. I know it's a cliché, but I believe in looking forward, and if anything has gone wrong in any way, I try to do what I can to change it rather than stewing in regret over it. There are indeed things I regret from the past, but these are mainly big things that had lasting consequences, and nothing this year has been in that league, thankfully!
This is very apt, as I'm planning to work on it after I check LJ! I want to finish my novel by the end of the year, not in its completed version, but at least to finish. I don't want to say "first draft" as I don't edit much at all, but there are a few bits here and there that I want to tidy up a bit. I have one whole chapter and a little bit of the current one to go, then the epilogue, and I'm all done! I just better get cracking as there is not long of the year to go and I also have to work on my dissertation. It'll be nice to start my next novel at the start of 2012. :)
Probably one of various Harry Potter characters, e.g. Severus Snape, Voldemort... :P And well, you know the rest! (Or you know, anyone Ralph Fiennes plays :P)
O.k., explicit stuff aside, there are many I would like to talk with and give hugs to. :)
I would say getting through high school, not only with the bullying, but in the last two years especially I was dealing with chronic fatigue and the autoimmune conditions, which meant I was sleeping 16 hours a day and missed a LOT of class. Apart from missing the material, that meant I became more alienated from any friends I did have and that combined with the illness took its toll mentally, leading to issues I still have and a suicide attempt at 16. Of course there was puberty on top of all that!
Things get hard now, but I don't think things will ever be as difficult as they were then. I look back and have no idea how I got through it, tbh! I was actually disappointed with my Advanced Higher results (final year of school) but that's my too-high standards! I did well on them and got into uni no problem. :)
O.k., I feel like I'm simply bigging myself up here, so I'll stop! Sometimes I feel like a different person fought through all that, really. :)
Well, this question is very apt after Tuesday's memorial service! I would like any organs possible to be donated first of all - I'm already a donor, but of course with my health, I don't know what they'd be able to use in the end. The rest of me is free to go to science - after all, others making the same decision is what has allowed me to benefit so much from my degree and will continue to allow the next generation of medics, surgeons, anatomists etc. to train. How could I say no? I know some people find it a bit weird, but seriously, what a waste if your body just decays under earth or is cremated and it destroys organs that could save another life. I understand people not wanting to donate their full bodies to science, but frankly, I feel that people who don't donate organs are selfish: if you would accept a donor organ, you should be morally obliged to donate them yourself. In the end, it doesn't make a difference to me whether I'm buried or cremated "whole" or not, and I'm sure whatever repulsion my family would feel regarding it would be erased and more upon receiving the news that I had saved lives or given such a gift to students exactly like I am now. I believe organ donation should be opt-out instead of opt-in - for those who aren't really bothered, it's better to have them donate than not, and anyone who is really repulsed can still opt out. Win-win and it's disgusting that very recently it was rejected here. There is a massive shortage of organs and unfortunately many people who WOULD donate but don't get round to signing up/don't know how to.
After all this, I'd prefer cremation over burial, partly for cost reasons, partly because the earth is full enough, and finally because I'm just not comforted by the idea of burial at all.
Mainly the ability to reach people who are like-minded, or who just like me for who I am. Many people don't think you can have fulfulling friendships online, but I ask what are they doing with their friends that involves physical contact? Yes, it's different, but it can still be a real friendship with the right person. The people around who we make friends with in real life are often just those who happen to be there from school, uni, work, whatever. LiveJournal gives a great opportunity to find those people out there who I begin to feel don't exist! Also, of course it's nice as it serves as an outlet for things I couldn't discuss with real life friends, partly because I'm not as close to them, but also partly because I just want to be able to go around uni without people knowing my deeper problems, such as health issues in detail.
For a long time, it was actually some people in my family. Dad says horrible things to piss me off and has very bigoted views, against some groups that I'm in. My little sister used to say such horrible things, but I guess these days she's not so bad. I used to hold on to some toxic friends, who I wouldn't say "bullied" me as such, but they were also pretty horrible people; luckily, I realized earlier than most of my peers that it was better to let them go and have no friends instead of false friends.
Other people at school were pretty bad, people who didn't even really know me at all. I had a guy in my chemistry class who gave me shit every single time he saw me, and if I retaliated, he thrived on it, so eventually I tried to just ignore him. One day when he was hugging everyone in the class, he came to me and I threatened him in a very quiet voice but with conviction that if he touched me at all, I would punch him to the floor, and I think that stopped him for the most part. Most others weren't so bold, but they did say horrible things to me and about me all through my school years. In my last year I even had little first years, who are about 11 or 12, shout "faggot" and "poof" at me in the corridors. To be honest, it was more the fact that such young people would do such a thing that shocked me instead of the insults actually hurting me.
People on the internet haven't actually been that bad to me, probably because I've learned when to hold my tongue. I've had some hearty debates with people, sure, but it hasn't necessarily been them throwing a lot of shit at me that upsets me.
I'm happy to say that these days, no one directly bullies me. People still talk shit behind my back, I know, but I think that happens to everyone - mine is possibly more because I'm different in many ways, and I know I am. I don't deal well with people on a social level and people realize this. I'm not for one second suggesting that victims of bullies choose to be affected by it, but I believe that I'm doing better with such things because I've grown a thick skin, and I don't let things get to me as much. I have been bullied from elementary school, even (where people spread rumors all the time about my sister and me, including that we practise witchcraft!!!), so to be honest, I've had a long time to become accustomed to the fact that I am quite different from people, and that there will always be people who are unhappy with the way I am, and that I'm HAPPY to be the way I am. Getting past the difficulties in my childhood largely involved me becoming content with who I am and realizing that I wasn't going to change that for people who didn't even care about me as a person.
So perhaps that is a little advice for people who are having a tough time from others - by all means, fight against the bullies (not in a literal physical way necessarily!), but know that you have the power within yourself to feel good about yourself, and to come to the realization that there is nothing wrong with you as a person. If you were worth nothing, there would be no level for these people to try to bring you down to. You are worth something, and someone in your life knows it. <3
If I went around in public spraying people with carcinogenic products, I'd probably go to jail. Yet smokers do it. Smoking's pretty much only legal because they gave it to soldiers in the wars, right?
Ideally, it'd be banned altogether, but it'd never work. I'd be happy with designated smoking areas. It means I can avoid them and smokers can still smoke (seeing as some smokers are comparing the "right to smoke" with things like freedom of speech, jeez). Smoking's NOT a basic civil right. If you want to die, as I say, be my guest, but don't do it in a way that takes others with you. I actually just read someone say "What's next? Banning food in pubs because of obesity?" Yes, because being obese directly harms those around you and causes oncogenic mutations in their DNA...
Almost I want it to happen just once to smokers that someone behind them has a huge asthma attack or something. For them to realize just how much impact their disgusting habit has on other people. Would they stop to help? Well, I'd refuse to let a smoker help me because they'd make it worse by breathing it all over me and stuff... but for someone to realize that it's THEIR fault people could die from the acute effects of smoke (because like, NO ONE gets second hand lung cancer, right? ¬_¬).
Yes. Unless a student has a valid excuse not to do PE, of course they should do it. Obesity and related disorders are obviously a huge problem these days in Western society; making PE unmandatory will not help people's laziness! I had a valid excuse to get out of PE for the last few years where I had to do it, but otherwise, I would do it. Yes, it was not a good experience most of the time, and I dreaded it, but I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed some of the sports. If kids never try sports, how will they know they like them?
We can't condemn obesity and the fact that people's lifestyles directly cause diseases like type 2 diabetes, and have made cardiovascular disease the biggest cause of death, and then say, no it's fine; you can skip PE if you want to. Plus, I think that every subject should be mandatory until later years of school. At my old school, all the bratty children objected to taking a foreign language, which was mandatory - the teachers bowed and let them have their own way... :/ Who's running the school?! (A girl I took English class with actually cried to get out science class... they let her drop the subjects.)
Finally, though I'm on a slight tangent, why do people of religions like Jehovah's Witnesses get out of Religious Education? It's not a class that forces you to become a Christian - in fact, it teaches you about all the main world religions. And the atheists still have to attend! I hate to generalize, but a lot of religionists are close-minded about other religions, and this "I refuse to learn about other religions that aren't my own" attitude helps nothing. The class doesn't force you into any religion - it's about education, so that always annoyed me. God says not to worship other gods, but he doesn't condemn learning about them and keeping an open mind of others' beliefs.
It's only a huge issue for me if either of the pair are underage. I admit it would be a bit weird if a 17 year old went out with a 50 year old; 16 and 17 aren't too different. But hey, I've always been attracted to much older people, and would feel like people are making too big a deal if they objected to me going out with someone older.
My 15 year old sister is going out with a 22 year old boy. I think that's wrong. I guess she looks a bit older for her age, but she's a CHILD. I'm only 19, and the thought of me going out with a 15 year old is so wrong. I don't see why my sister can't just wait 7 months until she is legal and there would be no issue... meh, they're having sex anyway... I'd still find it weird on her bf's part to be going out with her at his age, even if she did turn 16. You grow up very fast during puberty, but when you're out of it, years don't matter so much. Some people stay pretty much the same.
I'd tell my family a really important thing much earlier. Apart from that, I probably should have spoken my mind about certain things, and certain people, but I actually did that pretty soon, much sooner than others. Otherwise, there have been shit things in my life, most of them beyond my control, but I don't think I'd even change some of those within my control. What's the point if I've already gone through it - I've come through it, I've survived already, and these things have shaped me into who I am. I spent too long a time trying to suppress who I am for others, and to be honest, I am past that.
So, while some things have been really shit: No, I wouldn't change much that was in my control in the first place.
Anatomist/musician/author :) Preferably the latter two would be more part time things, as I'd hate the pressure of having to put out records or books. For that reason I'd like to self-publish/produce, because I can't stand the idea that some company would have more rights to my work than I would! So for this, I'd like to get the anatomist job first so I have the money, haha :P Anatomy has been my passion since I was about 9 :)
I'm doing pretty well so far; I'm going into my third year of an Anatomy degree next month. I wrote a lot of "lyrics" when I was younger, and when I realized they were just a joke, I stopped writing and didn't actually get back into it until some point in 2008. I've made up a few original tunes for keyboard but I'm pretty useless there, and I'm even more useless at playing my guitar, so we'll see where that goes. Similarly I wrote many stories from a young age, and have always had a huge imagination; then I moved on to more fanfic style work, i.e. very OTT plots, unresearched, and my characters ready-made from my favorite bands. I'm currently working on my first serious novel, and I'm pleased with where that's going.
So I guess you could say I have a pretty good chance at realizing these dreams, if I keep working hard :)
Ever since I was tiny, I had a favorite stuffed animal. I've only had two main ones really; the first was a tiny little bear called Ted (how inventive :P), and when his body got worn, my mum stitched some new clothes onto him :) Sadly, I lost him when I was really small; it was outside at a park and we never found him. I was devastated, and kind of grieved for him :( After Ted, I had a rabbit called Donald :L He has no nose, because as a young kid I used to carry him by the nose in my mouth, says Dad, and I used to rub his nose with my hand. He looks like a cocaine user! :P I still take him everywhere with me; when I move back and forward between towns for uni, he comes with me. I even took him to Tanzania with me! There was a scare in Kilimanjaro airport, where my and a girl's bags didn't come through with the others, and I was freaking out that Donald was lost! The bags came through eventually, and I was relieved to get him back; clothes are replaceable after all! I can only think of two trips I didn't have him on, and that was when I went for a few days on two occasions down to Hastings, England to see friends. At one point I didn't even have bags at all as we went to a Rammstein concert. I still sleep with him every night, and I'm not ashamed, not even for a 19 year old guy! :D My sister even brought him up to the hospital while I was in for an operation :) I love my Donald!
100% no. "Celebrity" is basically another word for someone whose job requires them to be in the public eye, and I don't think that entitles them to earn more in a week than some people earn in a year. I do admire some actresses and musicians that I guess would be called "celebrities", but I still don't think they deserve even a fraction of the money they have. Yes, acting can be a hectic, difficult job, but so is the job my father does, which is driving supplies across the country, loading his lorry and more. He is disabled, and works because my mother, also disabled, can't. We can't afford a luxury lifestyle, yet my dad probably puts more into his job than some of these celebrities.
If we're going to call footballers celebrities, then Hell, I'd give all the money I have right now if it meant they got their wages cut. Seriously, they kick up a fuss like the children they are because they are "only" getting paid something like 65.000£ a week?!
I'm disabled too, yet I still go to university, as I want to get a job and support myself financially. I'm also planning a volunteering trip to Thailand, which, if we don't manage to fundraise all the cash we need, I'll be using my savings that I've saved for uni, which actually includes my scholarship money. Why should I have to worry and stress over money all the time, when my problems would be solved if I was a half-naked girl whose producers or whatever knew how to use Autotune.
I think it says a Hell of a lot about our cultural values as a society; in fact our cultural values seem to be more than anything else. When celeb royalty like Cheryl Cole (non-UK people probably don't know who she is :L) get malaria, the doctors and nurses who save her life are probably paid a tiny fraction of her wage. When footballers break their ankles or knees, same deal. I think we need to stop giving out the message that as long as you're seen, you're important and you will get rich. A society is more than its entertainment - when it comes down to it, it is just entertainment. If we had no farmers, no doctors, then I'd love to see how much this entertainment industry would thrive...
Sorry, guys, you can see how pissed I am about this! It's something that really really annoys me, and upsets me in fact. It's one of the huger injustices in life.
Not really. It can be really annoying when people suddenly start proclaiming themselves to be huge fans, and I'll say "Oh what did you think of their album ____" and these people are like "Oh, I don't know it". Like when they only know the band's more popular stuff yet act like they are huge huge fans. I also don't like the perception that I'm only into something because it's popular. But to actually stop liking a band for being popular is silly, unless they have dramatically changed their style - even in that case, you have to understand from the band's point of view that they don't want 10 albums that sound the same, and just because their newer style is more received in the mainstream doesn't mean the band only changed to fit the mainstream.
I think to start hating a band for the sole reason that they are now successful is terrible; it's like hating your favorite actor/celebrity/musician or whatever for getting married - they are never going to marry you so why not be happy for them? Same with bands - why not be happy for their success? Surely you wouldn't want them to struggle to sell records and concert tickets and all that?! If they are really your favorite band, you wouldn't want them to be unsuccessful forever, just so you have that mystery of liking a band no one else does.
I kind of had four: 1. Become an anatomist/pathologist. 2. Learn all the languages I want to. 3. Become a writer. 4. Become a musician.
I'm working on all of them all the time, it seems :) I'm at uni studying Anatomy right now, but I'm not entirely sure what's coming after it. I'm also teaching myself some languages, although the list keeps growing of what I want to learn. I'm writing all the time - asides from my novel, I have two other projects in planning (and two former projects that I MAY work on later), and I'm adding lyrics and poems to my collection. I guess with the musician thing, writing lyrics is as close as I'm getting right now, as I'm useless on my guitar, and don't know if I have the patience to learn.
Way way way too many to even consider writing here. I'm really picky about bands, but the ones I do go for have such intense music and lyrics, that so many of them speak to me. I'll write one chorus here, that I think is a great statement to live by, but it's in German, so excuse my translation! :D
From "Wann" by Letzte Instanz:
"Wir können das Meer nicht besiegen,
Nicht gegen die Wellen bestehen,
Doch wir können versuchen
Nicht unter zu gehen."
It means: "We can't conquer the sea,
Can't stand our ground against the waves,
But we can try
Not to go under."
I would like to say I couldn't care less about the new Twilight movie, but part of me is excited; the faster the movies are released, the faster the whole thing is over and done with. The books and movies aren't actually the worst things I've ever had to endure (and to be fair I've never seen the movies) and they're probably entertaining enough as just random books you pick up, and or if you sit down and watch a random movie, but the biggest problem with it is that so many fans are hailing it as THEE BEST THING EVAR!!!11!! I mean, seriously?! If you were immortal, (and could go out in the day, because you know, sparkling in the sun is hardly detrimental to your health, is it?!) would you really go back to high school every year.. do the same classes... People would notice for a start :/ And surely Forks isn't THAT cloudy that sun doesn't get through and make them sparkle all day long?! Sunlight still gets through clouds, you know. So my biggest problem with Twilight is Stephenie Meyer's apparent lack of common sense, and lack of character development, and the fact it's so overrated. Otherwise, it'd just go by, most people quite indifferent to it, and then it wouldn't be such a disappointment because people wouldn't be making such a big deal about it :/